My actual job in life is managing my mental health. My hobby is writing, it’s my vocation, it’s what I do, but my actual job in life is managing my mental health. It’s practically a full time job for me because if I don’t I will be taken under by it. ~ Elizabeth Gilbert on the Happy Place podcast
Last Sunday morning started with Lincoln crying because we don’t have a blue spoon that he could use to eat his breakfast, and then another tantrum because he was unable to drink sultanas from his sippy cup (he tried). Ella’s ‘journal’ on Monday just stated (in huge letters) - 'I AM TIRED' and our Easter crafts didn’t go so well this week. I have had low-level but constant headache for 3 weeks and I don’t know what day it is! The novelty of being at home has worn off, fuses are short and everyone is feeling just a little more fragile than usual!
Like many working parents of young kids, right now it feels like I’ve got lots of (too many) jobs. To parent and work and supervise and now to educate feels impossible. And it is impossible. (But with my minimal and flexible work commitments, secure housing, good health, Jason's stable employment and plenty of outside space to stretch and breathe, I'm conscious that I have it so so much easier than most.)
So borrowing from Elizabeth Gilbert, I'm adopting 'my actual job is managing my mental health' as my mantra! And decisions about where to invest my limited time and energy are being made accordingly.
The Five
(Five things that are bringing me joy, or comfort, or relief right now….)
Feeling all the things
When I went back and listened to the Elizabeth Gilbert/Happy Place interview (so that I could get the quote right for this post) something else she said really stood out and seemed particularly relevant to managing mental health at this time. Quoting Martha Beck, she said “I am willing to feel whatever I need to feel to not be depressed”. So another thing I’ve been doing in service of my mental health is trying to really dial into what I’m feeling and allowing it all to come up - the grief, the resentment, the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the guilt, the gratitude, the anxiety, the overwhelm.
I thought this HBR piece was excellent - That Discomfort Your Feeling is Grief - and it’s one I’ve been sharing with a number of coaching clients. Georgie Dent and Richard Glover have also recently written about feelings of disappointment and it’s been important to recognise my own sadness and disappointments (even if they aren't as significant as what others are experiencing).
Elizabeth Gilbert's meditation on fear
Continuing the Elizabeth Gilbert theme... Her words and voice are definitely ones that I'm finding particularly calming at this time, and she's released a great meditation/lecture on fear through Insight Timer. At a time when we’re a bit short on hugs, I think this comes pretty close to what an audio hug might feel like!
Small stones
Small stones are little pieces of observational writing that get you out of your thoughts and instead make you focus on what you’re experiencing in the present moment. I learned about this practice from a recent episode of the Everyday Buddhism podcast and I've enjoyed the all-in-one meditation, journalling and creativity practice. (I'm keeping them all in my DayOne journal (tagged with #smallstones) so that I'll have this alternative capture of this time to look back on).
Mo Willem's Lunch Doodles
These classes in creativity from children’s author/illustrator Mo Willems have been our favourite social distancing/home learning find so far!
Sugar Calling
Cheryl Strayed has a new podcast, Sugar Calling, and the first episode with writer George Saunders is wonderful.
Photo: Pausing mid-run to catch my breath (literally and figuratively) at Carrickalinga beach